i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
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I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
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All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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