You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
nutella sex= disaster
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
