So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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