plz talk dirty to me
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize