Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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