Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
