There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
