the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
