Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
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I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
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I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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