i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
