I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize