Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize