I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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