a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
