I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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