Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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