After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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