Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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