Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
