OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
