if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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