Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
