Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
