Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
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he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
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You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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