I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
