when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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