So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
