I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
