You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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