Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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