Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
