Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
