How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
