sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
