Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
