Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize