if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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