I skipped work to stalk him.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dicks are not precious.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
