I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
