Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
