You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
