After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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