It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
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How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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