I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
