In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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