WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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