I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
