My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
