having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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