There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize