It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
NoShamevember. You game?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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