I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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