Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
