...so i touched it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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