once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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