"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
