The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
