Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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