I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
