i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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