Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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